ndab Ah Yes, Medical School: Easing In

Monday, January 05, 2004

Easing In

So after 2.5 weeks of fun filled vacation full of sitting on my ass and the occasional debauchery in Las Vegas during New Years, I actually felt ready to go back to school. I figured I had enough sleep and I was right on that border where boredom goes from something sought after and something extremely annoying. Yes, medical school was just what I needed to get myself going again.

However, 6:12 AM comes along and I finally get my ass out of bed. From this point on, the previous paragraph does not apply. After getting over the initial confusion that "6 AM" even exists, I got my shit together and did my religious-y thing (yay tefillin) and was off to class. I looked all around me and saw all the faces of people I, for the most part, didn't really know all that well in the first place. Then I sat down and proceeded to struggle through four (yes, four) straight lectures. Good Lord. We covered many a topic, none of which I was paying particular attention too. Although, I did appreciate the irony that no sooner do I come back from Vegas than I get a lecture on alcohol metabolism/abuse followed by another on taking a sexual history. My plans for my next Vegas trip include going up to a girl and saying (in a distinguished tone, no less), "Excuse me, I'm a doctor. I need to take a sexual history of you stat! Quick, take off your clothes!".

OK that was dumb...moving on...

Four lectures is painful enough. But that would just make for a wasted half-a-day. Instead, I got to have my whole day ruined. I had two more hours of histopathology lab to look forward to...except it didn't start until 3 PM. One half-assed workout and lunch later, I entered lab and became thorougly confused for two hours. Hepatocyte what? Chronic pancreatitis who? Fuck if I know. They sure don't mention this shit in the "Why You Should Be A Doctor" packet. Class ended at 5:15 PM, and not a moment too soon. I don't know how the hell I made it through high school, doing this kind of schedule every freaking day.

The moral of the story is that now it is about 6:45PM. I have no food. I am already ridiculously behind in my work after just one day. And I have anatomy tomorrow. Where we will be removing the intestines. Oh did I mention that when you die, a whole wad of shit stays in your intestines, only to fester and rot until some unsuspecting schmuck of a medical student has to take them out of you and expose them and all their rankness for all to smell?

Gotta love how they ease you in to each new block. So when is spring break again?