ndab Ah Yes, Medical School: Realize What You Have, Damn It

Saturday, January 31, 2004

Realize What You Have, Damn It

Over the course of the last week, I have realized what my lot in life is. No, it's not to become a great doctor. No, it's not to become a good doctor. Hell, I hope I freaking pass. Actually, it has absolutely nothing to do with medicine. This week, I discovered that my mission in life is to make people realize what they have and to not blow golden opportunities that pass them by. How did this come about, you ask? Despite the fact that a) you didn't ask and b) you don't care, I'm going to tell you.

This past Monday I was having lunch with some medschool buddies and I took a look at the youngest member of our class. He's a nice guy who also happens to be absolutely freaking brilliant. Math and Physics degrees from a certain Massachusetts based institutue where they study technology? Check. MD/PhD candidate? Check. Completed premed requirements at age 12? Check. Oh, did I mention he's 18 years old? And in medical school?

If that weren't enough to qualify this guy as being able to get Doogie ass, the young gentleman sitting before me LIVES IN AN ALL FRESHMAN DORM. WITH HORDES OF RIDICULOUSLY ATTRACTIVE WOMEN. AS A SUPER-GENIUS MEDICAL STUDENT WHO IS THEIR AGE. Good lord. I asked him gently about this - did he realize what position he was in? He replied that he spent most of his time there sleeping (by himself). I then tried to reason with him, figuring that math people need reason to accept an argument as valid. I explained that unlike every other recently pubescent male in his dorm, this guy is a future doctor. And not some stupid freshman premed future doctor, one that actually made it to medical school. Forget the fact that he's a decent guy and all that other stuff. Maybe it's because I am Jewish and am swayed by many a Jewish mother coming after me with their daughters because I am now of the category "future doctor", but I know that Doogie (can I call him that? I just did.) could get some serious action here. Now maybe he's not in it for the superficial relationship, which is o.k. (despite my obviously dashing and player-like demeanor, I too am this way - I know, try to restrain yourself), but I mean C'MON. Don't sleep all day! AAACK.

Well my attempt at an argument didn't work, because he somehow equated all this with having to drink alcohol, and he started calling me an alcoholic. I knew then that if he wasn't going to believe my opinion, I was going to take this to the masses. I asked every single guy in the vicinity of our table a simple hypothetical - if you were a freshman girl, would you give a chance to a) typical freshman guy who will possibly not amount to anything or b) freshman-aged guy who is in medical school. 10 people asked. 10 going for choice b. Even the girls at the table piped in, saying that Doogie really didn't know what kind of goldmine he had there.

I regret to report that he has yet to budge, and is likely playing Magic: The Gathering as I write this. But I will not give up. I will make him realize what he has. This is my gift. My curse.

4 Comments:

Anonymous matt said...

"I regret to report that he has yet to budge, and is likely playing Magic: The Gathering as I write this. But I will not give up. I will make him realize what he has. This is my gift. My curse."

classic
great blog man
I'm laughin my ass off, but I guess some of it won't be as funny when I get there in a couple years :(

10:24 PM  
Blogger Xander said...

goldmine of a blog. this has got to be the most honest portrayal of med school i have ever read.

god i can't wait.

12:53 AM  
Anonymous Side effects of steroids said...

You have found your mission!!!

5:26 AM  
Anonymous Jonas said...

Very effective material, thank you for this post.
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8:23 PM  

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