ndab Ah Yes, Medical School: Rags To Riches

Wednesday, March 23, 2005

Rags To Riches

We are currently approaching the last round of didactic finals classes, and with this comes the last Doctoring II class. What is Doctoring II? This is an opportunity to explore the psychosocial aspects of medicine in the context of a supporting and nurturing environment, where students can practice their clinical skills with standardized patients. Which means it's basically a massive bore-a-thon. Naturally, I figured our last session together would be equally as boring, if not slightly reduced in time.

But, as is becoming more and more rare in my life, God chose to smile upon my existence and spice up what is otherwise a painful and Jewish-girl-free life. How, you ask? Let me explain.

We arrived at Doctoring at about 1:30PM and quickly rushed through the required curriculum stuff, which dealt with asthma (I think - honestly, I have no clue because I was daydreaming about doing all that cool shit in the Matrix movies like flying around and stopping bullets. Yes, I am that big a dork), in about an hour or so. The doctoring doctor leader people then tell us they want to take us out for a late lunch to celebrate all that we have achieved throughout the course of this year (nothing). Fine.

We get up and pack our stuff, when one of the doctors says a peculiar thing:

"OK so get your things, the limo is waiting outside."

Excuse me? Did she just say limo?

Yes, in what will likely seem as the epitome of excess, our doctoring people got us a full-on decked out limo to take us out lunch/linner/dunch. We all pile into the limo, bust out the champagne and glasses, and drink the commute away.

The next shocker (no, no, not THAT kind) comes when we arrive at our swanky restaurant. While I was not entirely familiar with this place, I could have sworn it sounded really familar. What my roommate would later tell me (he's very in the know, which is another way of saying he has style and class and I...well I have a vast array of flip flops and t-shirts that say stupid things like "Prose Before Hos"), and what I was about to find out, was "Are you kidding?!? That is like one of the most trendy and expensive places to eat!". We are all seated at this restaurant overlooking the ocean, and I crack open the menu. I struggle between a few cheaper options before hearing the other people in my group go all out with expensive food, so I settle on the $35 salmon dish. I should add that it tasted damn good.

To top the eating experience off, one of my classmates looked at me and said, "Eli, you know I never noticed this before, but you have really pretty blue eyes." Aww shucks. Seriously, can this possibly get any better?

Yes it can. It was a delightful meal full of witty banter and overpriced food, but a spontaneous limo adventure to a fancy and trendy restaurant on its own does not make for rags to riches...it is missing the random celebrity sighting. Fear not, however, because as our meal was concluding, I was prompted to look over my shoulder at the table behind me. Who should be sitting there but none other than Pamela Anderson, her male companion, her two children, and her two massive (MASSIVE!) breasts.

I'm in heaven.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

oh this blog really makes me wish i were a jewish sex goddess...:(... honestly. but i suppose i could just settle for going to med school as ME, meeting someone just like you, and seducing him one night when he's really low on sleep and high on narcotics (maybe after one of those nice anesthesiology classes)...
thank god i'm a million miles away, and anonymous. because telling you this is shameful, isn't it?

6:27 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

wow dude you almost got a girl (hopefully a girl) to actually want to seduce you while your semi-under. I think that would be fun, ya know, yelling, "ANONYMOUS ohhhhhhhh GOD YOUR SO GOOD ANONYMOUS." And yes i just said that.

12:08 PM  
Anonymous LiMousine said...

You’re the luckiest person in this world if you have got a chance to taste the ultimate luxurious voyage in a limo. You had a lot of adventures!

3:17 AM  
Anonymous hummer limo said...

Yes, you didn't expect you would have such a fun... I'm glad for you.

3:22 AM  
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9:13 PM  
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