Lost In Translation
Any way you slice it, I just am too tired to come up with anything. But fear not, because while I was studying (and by studying I mean a continous cycle of reading a sentence from the notes, refreshing espn.com, checking the lineup on HBO, and seeing if there was anyone online to talk to), I managed to make a small collection of some of the ridiculous, retarded, and/or raunchy things people have said over the last block, and I am sharing the best of them with you:
“Interestingly, it’s good to be a woman. I don’t know why.” - Lecturer, regarding lung transplants. Duh.
"Before you stick it in, have a plan to take it out." - Lecturer, regarding ventilators.
“What do you mean by this?” – Classmate, in response to a slide that listed an obviously incomprehensible treatment option for kidney stones, “Dietary protein restriction”.
“[Quick hand raise] Question! [pause]. Umm…I have a question, but I don’t even know what to ask.” Same classmate as the previous quote, during a lecture on acute acid-base management.
“[Quick hand raise] Question! [pause]. Umm…I have a question, but I don’t even know what to ask.” Again, same classmate as before, next day, EKG lab.
“First thing you do is go bedside and tap this guy.” – Lecturer, obviously talking about pleural effusions and the lung.
“When are you going to tap that?” – Same lecturer.
“When there’s an infection?” – Different classmate, who is drawing upon her experiences as a prostitute in Thailand.
“No.” – Lecturer.
“Only tap it when it’s wet.” – Same lecturer. Peace!