That said, if you are lucky, you still get to see things that a select few will ever get to witness, things that are so undescribeably awful that no words really do them justice, other than to say that it must really suck to be the guy that shows up the ER with that. What do I mean by all this? Let me put it this way: there are a select few phrases that will absolutely strike fear, horror, and despair into the hearts of all men all across the world. Samples include "I'm pregnant", "I want to cuddle", and the classic "I didn't know it could be that small." I would like to submit another phrase, one that was annouced in the ER doctor's waiting area (where the ER docs, trauma surgeons, and lowly medical students await incoming victims) last night while I was on call, to this glorious list:
"Gunshot wound, right scrotum."
I'll let you digest that for a second.
Basically, there are no words to describe the sight of a man being wheeled into the ER, initially calm, on pain medications, and totally unaware of the ball-bleeding occuring under the sheets the EMTs placed over his wound, right at that moment when he is placed on the bed, the sheets are removed, and we all see the perforated scrotum and the bleeding that has ensued. Rather than wax philosophical on this now (frankly, I couldn't do this topic justice in my totally sleep-deprived anyways), I'll just say that, as a fellow ball-possessing individual, it was one of the more painful things I think I could ever witness. I regret that I could not follow what happened with him (he was admitted to another service), but I hope you all have learned a valuable lesson from this: Don't get shot in the nuts.