ndab Ah Yes, Medical School: A Future

Saturday, October 22, 2005

A Future

A few years ago, I wrote about the perks of being a medical student, as I was lavished with fancy dinners and hands that wandered where few women choose to go. As it turns out, last night I had the privilege to attend yet another of these grand dinner affairs, intended to wine, dine, and convince rich alumni and donors into giving more money by sitting them with ridiculously attractive medical students (and me) and having us entertain them with our tales of medical glory while they write checks. It then goes without saying that I am pretty sure this is the last time I will attend. Why, you ask so graciously as you pretend to listen? Not because I hoped the master of ceremonies, a nationally syndicated advice columnist, would revisit that part of my anatomy she had visited two years earlier and propel me into a stratosphere of unintentional comedy and awkwardness not seen since...well..since that awful blind date I went on a little while ago. In fact, after talking to me for only two minutes, this famous advice columnist apparently became so overwhelmed with my admission of built up Jewish guilt (she is also a Member Of The Tribe and at first acknowledged this guilt as normal) that, rather than...you know, give me advice (that being her job and all), she strongly encouraged me to go see a psychiatrist because I am apparently that insane. Ouch.

Instead, what really bothered me about this event was the casual conversation I was privy to at a random table filled with middle aged refined-appearing doctors and their plastic wives, dressed up to scream both "I have class" and "I am more expensive than you" but proving the always dependable Trophy Axiom, which boldly states that these ladies may have been trophy wives once, but just like all those bullshit trophies you got in AYSO soccer when you were a kid, they all end up in the trash sooner or later. After progressing beyond the casual "So where are you from?", "What kind of doctor do you want to be?", and "Let me tell you about my amazing children...", the subject inevitebly turned to the specific source of funding I had received that garnered my invitation to this event. Rather than admit that I was just there to keep my friend company and maybe, just maybe, score with a quasi-celebrity, I brought up the huge wad of cash these people indirectly sent my way so that I could participate in an incredible program last year that allowed me to travel to a small town in Mexico and live and work in a hospital for a month . Here is the dialogue that ensued:

Me:...so it was an incredible experience, I learned a lot, and the people there were so generous.
Lady 1: So how is your Spanish now?
Me: Oh it definitely got a lot better.
Lady 2: That's great...you know, I tried to pick up some Spanish too...
Lady 1: How come?
Lady 2: Well, you se-
Lady 1: Wait, let me guess - your housekeepers weren't doing what you wanted but you couldn't tell them how you wanted your house cleaned, right?
[Both ladies laugh hysterically. Doctor-husbands nod in approval and laugh as well.]
Lady 2: How'd you know?!?
Lady 1: I tried the same thing, but I was too lazy to learn Spanish, so I just scream at her when she does something wrong. Help these days...it just isn't the same like it used to be.
Doctor 1: Say, maybe you could teach us some words, like "clean" and "windows"!
[More middle-aged laughter]

Apparently, these people did not get that memo passed around to Whitey a few years ago that this sort of dialogue and behavior was just not OK anymore. The conversation then twisted and turned to the demise of a local public school system as a result of the alarming influx of immigrants over the last twenty years. By this point I decided I'd had enough, got up, and left.

As a future doctor (well, let's see if I passed that surgery final first), I very well may find myself at some point being offered admission to these kinds of social circles (unless they read this crap, of course), since for whatever reason physicians have some easier access to these echelons of society simply by virtue of the MD at the end of our names. So I chose a careful title this time around, because I want to emphasize that what I described was a future, but not necessarily mine or those of my peer medical students. While I use this forum mostly as a method of catharsis, venting, and a chance to dish out my cynicism (there will undoubtedly be plenty of my peers who choose that path), I also use it as an opportunity to discuss my utter cluelessness about what I want to do with my life. However, last night was the first time where I felt confident about my future, only in so much as I know about a future I do not want and will not pursue, which I guess counts for something. The allure and illusion of the trophy is nice, but I'll take the genuine guilt that has gotten me this far anytime.


Blogger Motherkitty said...

The nerve of those rich fat cats denegrating people who work for them -- what chutzpah! They should have to clean their own toilets and windows. Or better yet, they should see how they like cleaning up other people's shit for minumum wage or less and getting yelled at because they don't speak the language as well as they do. You are correct in wanting to distance yourself from them. But, in reality, by the time you attain your MD, you will have to make nice with these louts if you want to get ahead in life. Maybe by the time you become a big shot MD, they will all be dead. Keep up the good work. Love your blog.

10:54 PM  
Blogger Fading redhead said...

You're saying that guilt leads to insight? Or perhaps that the unexamined life is not worth living. Socrates surely would approve of blogging for insight, particularly with such self-deprecating wit.

11:10 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Good for you.

I'd like to think that those of us baby boomers who came of age at the tail end of the sixties raised our children so that prejudice of all kinds would be less prevalent now than in the past.

Unfortunately, I'm afraid it's only realistic - not cynical - to admit that we are so far from achieving anything close to an acceptable level of tolerance. And not only in this country, either.

I recently had the unpleasant experience of having a young Chinese woman come right out and say to me in so many words that she hated the entire race of the person sitting on the other side of her. She obviously assumed that, being white, I would agree with her. The irony that there are many Americans who despise Asians from any country seemed to escape her.

But please don't make the mistake of equating wealth with bigotry. There are open minded and narrow minded people in literally all walks of life all over the world.
It is perfectly possible to succeed financially, even to have domestic employees whose 1st language is not English, and still remember to treat everyone with the dignity and respect they deserve.

And no matter how self-deprecating you are in this blog and how much guilt you've amassed over the years, I think you can handle it. It's all about giving back, right? Just the standard 10% and a little of your time, once you become the "real" doctor, will put you light years ahead of most of your profession and most of the people on this planet. That, and treating people right. Even when they're assholes.

Remember, it's easy to be nice to people who are nice. It's treating with respect those who may not seem to deserve respect that makes us different from them. Personally, I think that's one of the hardest things we have to do in this life. It takes a really strong streak of decency. And I think you've got that.

Now, I'll just take my stylishly decorated soap box and lead my high horse home. :)


11:19 PM  
Blogger erica Lubavitch said...

Non-guilty single Jewish chick here! Was reading your blog long before blogger made you famous. Still enjoying.

12:23 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

When did you switch from The Fake Doctor to Ah Yes, Medical School. Did I imagine that header?

12:31 AM  
Blogger Rukia said...

Hi there ,
I don not have any comment relate to your post ... just wanna say I like your Blog name ciz I'm study in A medical college too 1 so I don't know if you can tell me in which year you are and if you think medicine is a good or a hard study @?

1:24 AM  
Blogger kats said...

Just keep taking donations out of their over-bloated bank accounts.

Leave them to their plastic lives - their desperation to "keep up" shows just how miserable they are underneath it all really.


5:39 AM  
Blogger Couz said...

I don't know how I managed to miss the fact that the great majority of physicians are pompous asses through medical school. I'm just having fun revelations like this now. If you find this half as irritating as I do (which I figure from your post, you do) try to find a specialty that will let you get the hell out of the academic centres. Life is better out of the bubble.

5:56 AM  
Blogger effective nancy said...

If it's any consolation, Fake Doctor, there is a loyal opposition of doctors' spouses who are shockingly interesting people with depth, sensitivity, bourgeois guilt of many cultural origins, and a complete vocabulary of pithy curses reserved for the trophy Trixies who comprise the other subspecies.

It's most often the partners who don't share a facination with biological processes who form the coalition of trophies. In my guy's resident class's spouse pool, for instance, there's the woman who has Tupperware parties; I invariably sneak to the other side of the room to talk with the pathologist, radiologist, and FP intern who are paired to other CA4 residents in the same class.

The trick is to make sure you choose well when you're finding a mate, because it'll be her friendships that cement your fate to sit at the fat cat/trophy spouse table. Yours was exactly the sort of event where I prep by skimming research on how fancy-dan makeup interacts with Botox/collagen injections to melt your face, so that I can make appropriately lively conversation during dinner.

6:11 AM  
Blogger The Red said...

Bigotry has gone the way of corsets and smoking jackets; some old-fashioned people think they look good, but the rest of the world knows better.
One of my attendings has a bit of a reputation as a bigot - primarily from his dealings with the nursing staff - and his residents (and I suspect his med students) all know it and spew venom behind his back. Like you, they have to suffer in silence in his presence.
I have to disagree with motherkitty's comment though...once you become a REAL doctor, you WON'T have to deal with this because you won't be beholden to those jerks anymore and you can tell 'em where to stick it.
P.S. The dates (and subsequent extracurricular activities) pick up when you're in residency. Only then you'll be too busy to enjoy them.

6:15 AM  
Blogger Motherkitty said...

I disagree with The Red's comment. I dealt with physicians in my professional life for almost 20 years and, believe me, they all had to "make nice" with each other whether they liked each other or not. Do you think hospital administrators (who grant privileges) welcome feuding physicians? Where do you think referrals come from? What happens when MDs find themselves on the same committee or medical society as the lout(s) in question? What do you think they do in social/professional situations (like conferences, meetings, fund-raisers, or social events) -- walk to the other side of the room with their nose in the air? They then become as bad as the offenders. There will always be bigots in this world. Our job is to show them that their attitudes are not acceptable in today's society and hopefully they eventually will get the message and shut up. But, there will always be those who think money equates privilege and, therefore, privilege equates power. That's how revolutions are fomented against the haves by the have-nots.

7:05 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Considering her specialty, you weren't asking for sex advice, were you?

7:23 AM  
Blogger Nikki said...

I'm a second-year me student in Canada. After my first few months in medicine, I started keeping of list of "things I never want to do" -- you know, uncover a female patient's breasts, point out one tiny thing, then stand there for 20 minutes teaching the 7 or 8 assembled students without RE-covering the patient, while she looks really uncomfortable. That sort of stuff.

I'm adding this to the list.

7:41 AM  
Blogger TKP said...

I'm sure that all of the MDs in that room put "I want to help people" on their med school applications...I guess they ARE helping by providing immigrant riff-raff with a steady salary. Thanks for the blog. There are far too few cynics in med school.

7:50 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

good for you. the high road is often lonely. tropies are gaudy and worthless. life beckons--go live it.

7:52 AM  
Blogger Emily said...

oh good. high-income snots are just as stupid and unrefined as the low-income rednecks that I teach. good. Nice to know that humanity is progressing. ;)

I judge people's character by how they treat the "help" (i.e. people in "service-oriented" positions, like grocery baggers, and even servants). I find that a lot of people I thought were pretty cool turn out to have some evil streaks.

8:01 AM  
Blogger Chackler said...

Dr. Laura????

8:05 AM  
Blogger Lolita said...

I hope you do remain simple, good and true to yourself.
I know you probably don't have much time for non-medical reading, but if you can get your hands on The King of Torts (by John Grisham) you will find it interesting to see the evolution of a young lawyer who also swore off become a big jet-setter lawyer, but who ends up being sucked into it...

8:26 AM  
Blogger "Jet" said...

My best friend’s father was a doctor and I don't think I'd ever hear him speak of anyone like that... True, you are in a more "elite" tax bracket than the normal citizens, but you chose to serve us as citizens. Yes, you have malpractice insurance to pay because there are sue hungry people out in this country that are out to make a buck or two. Yes, you pay more taxes to Uncle Sam... But in the end you have earned it... We come to see you, the doctor. We have begun to build a trust in you and once that happens your client base booms…

At the end of the day we all put our pants on the same way. We all breathe the same air... What makes physicians better than the rest? To hear the wives speak like that would have really pissed me off and I believe that I would have walked away as well, but not before saying something to the effect, “If it wasn’t for your husband being a cardiologist, anesthesiologist, brain surgeon, or OB/GYN where the hell would you be right now?”

Thanks for being seemingly human and trying to "protect", if you will, all races.

I really do like your blog...

8:54 AM  
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9:14 AM  
Blogger Samsung said...

Oh, my god! Lady 1 and Lady 2 could have been my mother!



9:32 AM  
Blogger The Homeless Parrot said...

that's why (among myriad other reasons) i chose vet school instead of human doctor school! vets are much less pretentious:)

10:57 AM  
Blogger HHD said...

Way to go man! I'll take the genuine joy and the genuine sadness of being involved with my patients anytime rather than chase after the trophy dreams that some of my peers obsess over. Any chance you'll go into oncology?

11:11 AM  
Blogger Sarah said...

Okay, it's final, I want to marry you....oh crap, I forgot, I'm already married, damn it!
There are some doctors out there like you. I've had a crush on my kids' pediatrician for a long time. He is one of the few who accept gov. paid health coverage, (even though it hurts), and is very humble, down to earth, and drives an old car :)
Maybe you'll find a trophy-looking wife who is even more beautiful on the inside :o) Good luck, and don't change!

11:40 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow. This blog is truly impressive. There are almost no words. I am going to send the link to all my friends that are applying to medical school.

12:29 PM  
Blogger beertapgirl said...

I often wonder myself how this world has spiraled so out of control. How someone can demean another in such a way makes my heart and my soul weep. We are all in this crazy life together and by belittling another, we are truly only hurting ourselves. I'm thoroughly impressed by your response to this situation. Promise you will always stay that way. Cynicism is one thing, downright walking through life with money blinders on is another. Never forget how that felt to sit there and listen to that society dribble and carry it with you to guide you in the future. Take care fake doc... and know that there are others out there who will stay true to helping our fellow man without looking down at them, but on equal footing.

1:15 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

How-much-is-your-blog-worth? Maybe you'll make some money after all. It's such an entertaining blog. I enjoy it.

3:16 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

My appologies, wrong link.How-much-is-your-blog-worth?

3:21 PM  
Blogger Sibongile said...

Just want to say I love reading your blog and NO I am not grossed out by it. Probably because I am one of those freaks who has decided to spend their lives digging through other people's feces, abdomen and uh, vaginas too.
Second years med student from Holland here, cheers. (that sort of implies that I am only nineteen years old. With four and a half years of uni ahead)
Female, yes, but not offering myself for marriage here like some other ladies. I'm not interested in becoming one of those oh-so-important doctors whith a medical spouse and a kid and a dog who are both going into medicine. Oh wait, you weren't going to be that as well...
Just keep up the good work ok? Now I should get back to the ovary and it's secrets.

3:39 PM  
Blogger Carina said...

I would've said something, but then again, I'm a gritchy doctor's wife. :-) I also was a Spanish and Russian double minor and actually travelled in college. They were so amazingly bigoted! I cannot believe that!

Okay, yes, I can, as I have had my own run-ins with those kinds of doctors' wives. In the town where my hubby did his residency, the attendings' wives introduce themselves by their wife number. You know, Dr. So-and-so's Wife #3 and so on. As I'm a Wife #1, it made me a bit angry (okay, seriously pissed), and I don't have anything to do with them or their stupid functions and parties.

Trust me, you can find better doctors and all to hang around than that. Just stay away from AMA chapter meetings and anything for the hospital that involves asking for money. ;) One of the reasons why my hubby joined the practice he's with now is because the interview dinner was so fun and so devoid of that kind of crap.

Your kind of future is definitely possible.

3:46 PM  
Blogger Bughunter said...

You might want to check out a guy named Norman Bethune... guarenteed that if you follow his path in life, you won't have to put up with shallow overpaid trophy wives.

3:58 PM  
Blogger soswxl3 said...

This is a very interesting blog which I thoroughly enjoy reading. Maybe you could check out my blogs at www.funkygorilla.blogspot.com (please tell me how the story sounds) and my views about Spyware at www.funkyzebra.blogspot.com

Thanks for the good reading,

4:26 PM  
Blogger Alfie said...

Keep on thinking that way!

5:03 PM  
Blogger sunkist_5000 said...

Thanks for the post Fake Dr.!
I've been looking forward to it.

It's good to know that I'm not neccessarily leading a fabulous life just because I didn't enter med school, afterall, your life seems to suck as much as mine in some areas!

Just so you know, you will find Ms. Jewishfakedoctor soon, have no fear.

Fucking funny, brilliant, and with an asskicking earning potential.........your ducks are in a row dude.......wish I was jewish? Me too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

P.S. If you ever decide to give it a go with a non-jew (who is willing to convert), and who happens to have a few hang ups (um.....that would be me), let me know!

7:12 PM  
Blogger Twanna A. Hines | FUNKYBROWNCHICK.com said...

Quick! Someone teach the old bitty how to say, "I am a completely worthless asshole and I am sorry that you have to work for me," in Spanish.

9:55 PM  
Blogger Kelly Swails said...

Dude--love the blog. Here's the thing about being a part of 'society'. I'm married to a lawyer, and it's much the same thing--when you're in school, you get wined and dined and you get stars in your eyes about the money and the women and the trophy wives (who, by the way, are fucking the gardner, or the neighbor, or the neighbor's gardner, or all three)and it really boils down to this: yes, you have to sell your soul a little bit because you have to pay off the student loans. But my husband, instead of joining a big-city law firm and making six figures, chose to become a prosecutor. You can do the same. Just because you have an "MD" behind your name doesn't mean you can't help people other than yourself. :)
By the way, I'm a med tech. Yep, that's right, I'm one of those bitches in the lab, so your gross-out stories don't faze me in the least. In fact, I had an exploding shit last week ... nah, forget it. You don't want to hear it.

10:08 PM  
Blogger Litahnee said...

You learn something new everyday.

Things I didn't know:
Not having 100% grasp of the English language sets you up for immediate ridicule. I now see the humour! Bloody hilarious!!!!

Working as a domestic cleaner makes you sub-human. Lucky for me those 'ladies' helped me see the light.

I'll be sure to mark that down for the next time I meet someone who can't speak English well and/or works as a domestic cleaner. Walk up to them and laugh in their face. I'm sure they'll get the joke.

Did you happen to hear the words 'I'm not racist but....'?

10:45 PM  
Blogger Stephanie said...

At least some good came from your swanky dinner. You found out what you don't want in life. One step closer to figuring out what you do want.

I enjoy reading your blog - though I only found it after it became famous.

10:59 PM  
Blogger Jenn said...

You know what Oscar Wilde said: "Never mock society, only those who cannot get into it, do that." (I'm paraphrasing here).

And then there are the losers who quote other people because they don't have an original thought in their heads.


1:53 AM  
Blogger constance said...

I'm sure all those snobby rich bitches had selfless romantic dreams too like you... but it all got tangled up somewhere between the plasma tv and charity events (at which a woman's gown costs more than she actually donates to the charity!)... don't lose it fake doctor!!! it's what keeps my stupid romantic dreams alive!!

5:33 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

sounds like you are worlds apart from them. stay away from that mindset and you may be able to make a difference in this world-

5:47 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Just know that there are the plastic people and the real people everywhere. It is not just in the spouses of doctors.

6:08 AM  
Blogger beajerry said...

As with any profession, there are levels. There are the grunt docs who get in there and get dirty, and there are the pussy docs who sit behind desks waiting for the next party to big pimp their bling.

7:39 AM  
Blogger High Power Rocketry said...

You know what, its almost like you being there is a good thing. I mean amusing, if only to give us something to read about right? :)

Never lose what you have inside, and you will be all right. I like to think I have a decent sense of humor, so I enjoy most things like this. Its fun to be party to your own inside jokes.

Bathroom Review

7:49 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i actually can't believe you are a medical student that can't spell cheque correctly!!!! Is this really what the world is coming to? we will all have doctors that can't spel cheque???? when you write a check it is not spelt like that C H E Q U E!! OMG. good luck!

8:26 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Is this party anything like the ones they have in The O.C? I was thinking, Seth Cohen got Summer despite all his jewish insecurites. So, all you have to do is find your Summer too!!

8:42 AM  
Blogger GB, RN said...

Is it any wonder why I refuse to date doctors? For the following reasons:
1. No chance of becoming as shallow as a trophy wife.
2. Trophy wives are usually discarded for the younger nurses who throw themselves at the docs (because some girls go to nursing school just for the better odds at becoming a trophy wife).
3. I boss doctors around at work, I don't really feel like doing it at home as well.
4. Did I mention that doctors usually are usually the poster boys of infidelity?

I'll stick to normal, every-day guys. They are usually more fun anyway.

9:53 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

how funny. i was at that event too.
funny story about the olives, eh?
i met one of the doctor's wife and we all thought, 'wow, she's buff,' then we learned that she's the plastic surgeon's wife. of course, she's his biggest advertisement. funny stuff. i love and hate those events.

10:02 AM  
Blogger Sporklinger said...

I know precisely what you can do with your life. You can work with me and lots of other in helping to alleviate the suffering of people in developing nations.

Check out Health Outreach to the Middle East at; www.healthoutreachtothemiddleeast.org (ridiculously long URL, I know).
Then check out some of the highly recognized folks who have decided that this is a worthwhile way to live one's life. One of my goals is to convince more people to make lives instead of making a living. In America we have a unique opportunity to do this. As a physician, you can treat lethargic americans for their adult-onset diabetes and other lifestyle-related diseases and then use the resources obtained from this largesse to improve the world. Kill 2 birds with 1 stone, so to speak.

I encourage you to check out H.O.M.E. and the infectious disease group at MD Anderson Cancer center in Houston. Might be just what you are looking for.

10:44 AM  
Blogger april said...

come over to our side. vet med is much better.
the only bad thing... you don't get to learn about only one species. you've got to learn them all. oh and breeders.. you have to deal with the breeders.

11:42 AM  
Blogger Kate Mc said...

First time at your blog - and I loved it! Great sense of humor. Unfortunately it's not just the medical profession - there are all sorts of professions like that (academics, business, that sort of thing). As an MA student, I'm totally feeling the pressure to mingle and know the 'right people' and it's slowly driving me nuts. I hate schmoozing. Good on you for leaving those disgusting, pig-headed women behind and getting on with your life.

12:52 PM  
Blogger Miss Wendy Eileen said...

Hey like the blog and what you have to say...it's nice to be naive...but trust me there will come a day when you wont leave the table and will just pretend that you didnt hear what those plastic wives had to say....But hopefully that will be later rather than sooner.

I really really like your style of writing and would love there to be more people like you in the world as we need them.

Take care,


lol- I got the word verification wrong!

1:17 PM  
Blogger Brandon Anthony said...

Wealth breeds a new race, not singled out by skin tone or physical deformity, but a condition of a nagging belief that you hold an increased level of self worth, above all those who make less than you. What is a measure of a man? The size of his wallet. It's disgusting but inherently true among us all. Why else would we so desire to be wealthier than we are at any given time?

1:21 PM  
Blogger Piotr said...

I wish You from whole heart of success...

1:58 PM  
Blogger Internal Medicine Doctor said...

I like the blog so far but I do think that it's time for a template change. the blue gets old real fast.

2:57 PM  
Blogger mariquita said...

just read your ah yes, medical school, just gotta tell ya that i may b one of the "no espeka inglitch" cleaners; i hope u have a reply to those stupid gringos, thank God "they" r not all like that.

4:57 PM  
Blogger wyn said...

hi fake doctor. i just noticed that you have been mentioned as "blog of note" and have started reading you from the beginning because i'm a wannabe-doctor and i'm just going to do it the ph.d. route genetics. i've just finished october 2003 so i "know you" from two years ago - it's been great reading so far and i'll catch up in a short time to your more current stuff =) happy blogging.

5:18 PM  
Blogger IMG Forum said...

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visit this blog I created for aspirant cardiology fellow to share through experience during the application process.

5:36 PM  
Blogger Catnapping said...

Heather, please do not confuse nurses with sluts.

catnapping, RN, MSN, CRNFA.

7:26 PM  
Blogger Amanda said...

I love reading your blog. It really is entertaining. And I don't get grossed out by these things. While I am not a medical student, I am a Biology student, hoping to be a professor some day. I especially enjoy your "soap boxes" or "High horses", I have a few of my own, although not posetd on my blog. I hope you stick with your commitments. And you will find what you want someday, and when you do, go for it with all you have!

10:17 PM  
Blogger s tsui said...

cannot be more well put. this is the way i've always felt but have never been able to pin it down. you are not alone. :)

10:22 PM  
Blogger Rukia said...

This is my first year in MD college..and until now nothing unworth happened to me ...

I still study English language for the first year and in summer I will start Chmistry ... I think it's hard to study MD , a lot of studentz in my College live the school after less than one year ...?????

10:46 PM  
Blogger redhead83402 said...

Well fake doc ~ gotta put my two cents in ~ you are far more real than the plastic ladies or their plastic-loving husbands. Please don't ever lose that, it sets you apart.

One thing I wanted to mention to you, that may be a different method of achieving all of your goals ~ In my neighborhood, we have a doc who is an an O.D., graduated with honors, excellent doctor. What is different about his doctor is that he makes house calls, he doesn't fill out insurance forms, and he charges completely reasonable fees, since he doesn't have the overhead of the entire hospital, office, etc. He has an office in his home, and his wife schedules the patients. He comes over on house calls ( for anyone of his patients, not just neighbors) sits there and fills out the patient info at your house on his laptop notebook, and chats with the family. My son needed stitches just the other day, because he cut his toe on some glass outside. The doc came over, ( he carries a couple of toolboxes filled with supplies and such ) sat my son at the sink, washed him up, we put him on the kitchen table, doc gave him a pain killer shot, prepared a sterile field, and gave him 4 stitches. In total, I think he was there an hour, and it cost us $84.00. At the same visit, my husband had him cut off a mole that was bugging him. A few months ago, my daughter had bronchitis, he gave her antibiotics for it, and only charged us $2.00 for the medicine, because that's what it cost him. Since he doesn't have the overhead, he doesn't have to hike the prices, and he still makes very good money. He charges a dollar or two a minute, and calculates the tab right there. Since the prices are so much lower, people rarely even have to file insurance. If they need to, he shows them what to do. He doesn't go to fancy dinners, or have a plastic wife, although he is married & has 3 children. His dad and his two older brothers are all ~country doctors~ as well. And no, we don't live in the country. We live in a city of about 58 to 60 thousand.

If you truly hate the bigotry, the plastic facades, and the shallow mentalities, you might consider it. And even if you don't go that route, you can still make a difference. Just don't EVER put up with that business. You don't have to, and people will respect you for having an opinion, and voicing it. It may be akward at times, and it may not make you a social favorite of the plastics, but on the other hand, you will never have to regret the ~things you should have said or didn't say~ and you won't mind looking in the mirror. And after all is said and done, that's what REALLY counts.

And by the way, if you don't want a plastic wife, just make sure that when you are looking for a wife, you don't just look at plastic qualities. Look beyond the face and figure. Look for somebody happy, that appreciates your humour and is on the same religious wavelength. There are tons of women out there ( yes, even good jewish women ;-D) who look good most of the time, and have decent figures most of the time, but aren't plastic, AND are happy.

And one last thought, don't take happiness advice from people who aren't happy. Those plastic people aren't happy, or they wouldn't have to resort to demeaning others. But you knew that all along ~ that was what the sickening disgusted knot in your gut was all about. Plastic people feel insecure, and those insecurities goad them into all sorts of ridiculous ways to make certain EVERYone SEES them as ~Perfectly Plastic in Every Way.~
Don't be plastic, fake-real doc, the world needs less plastic, heheh ;-D

12:24 AM  
Blogger Unknown said...

Wow, awesome blog you have here!

5:31 AM  
Blogger Dazed And Confused said...

hey mate

loving the blog

sadly i'd say be prepared to get up and leave a hell of a lot more from situations like the one you've just described.

medicine (certainly in the UK) is heavily populated by people like this.

which i've never quite understood but hey that's the way it goes.

look forward to reading more about your med student antics

for a slightly jaded view of medicine in another country do stop by http://thelostdoctor.blogspot.com


5:47 AM  
Blogger Tomo K. said...

Wow, I have to say I'm as shocked as you were. I seriously thought those conversations didn't go anywhere past the middle-school era. Unbelievable that you would stumble across not only one narrow minded person, but a handful. Shame on them. They insult the west.

Do know that I enjoy reading your blog however, and look forward to coming by again sometime.

Best wishes,

7:06 AM  
Blogger Chef Bouillon said...

Whatever happened to freedom of speech? People still have the right to behave like that or say what they want. And seriously, they did have a point about our immigration problem.

And I'm sure that all of the people who have posted notes have NEVER behaved in a bigoted manner.

At least I'm honest and can say that I found the story to be hilarious.

7:10 AM  
Blogger -A. said...

Ah yes, yet another amazing blog entry :-)

I wonder if I should rip off any of your scintillating intellect and pass it off as my own? Hmm....

11:22 AM  
Blogger yourfriendgwen said...

What horrible people...you did the right thing by walking away.

1:47 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

So what you're saying is that you want me to be your trophy wife being as I'm older than you and all...

2:57 PM  
Blogger greeneggsandtam said...

Ah yes, Great blog. How funny to have heard those ladies blunder on. Haha. They've no idea they are the topic of ridicule as we speak. It's so Simpsons. They're the rich lady who always says, '..well I never!'
Gahh. I just blew my mind.What if some high school kid is blogging away about me?

2:57 PM  
Blogger thenamelessfriend said...

Your future is what you want it to be, which means, your decision to associate with these asses is your decision. Don't let these people intimidate you or dictate your likes and dislikes. Immigration has gotten out of control, true. I love the comedy in the situation though, it made laugh a lot. Best wishes with the G.Y.N.

3:54 PM  
Blogger thenamelessfriend said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

3:56 PM  
Blogger MattHeatherEmma said...

wBeing the spouse of a 3rd year Pedi-Resident, I can assure you that your fun is just beginning. And in the end you will say, "Hell, that was nothing. Remember back in Med School when..." Seriously, it all gets better and it is worth every abcess, suture, and hob-snob dinner. Oh and keep going to the dinners and sucking money out of those hollow bimbos and their hubbies.

8:09 PM  
Blogger dr-exmedic said...

Frankly, if you'd like to avoid having a wife that vacant, I highly recommend getting married as soon as possible, just plan on getting divorced within five years (hopefully less). This practice run will invariably leave you knowing exactly what you want out of the real marriage. :)

It seems a lot of us in the healthcare field overestimate our own importance. I've heard paramedics with a high school education and marginally average intellect talk s*** about docs....


8:33 PM  
Blogger 69pickup said...

Thank god you have balls. Leaving the proximity of those "women", probably kept you from descending to Hell, forwith. Hasta luego!

10:04 PM  
Blogger Rukia said...

To be or not to be this is the Question ! ( Shak )

12:00 AM  
Blogger DaDog said...

Go guilt!

It is the ultimate renewable resource!

5:58 AM  
Blogger missbhavens said...

Ugh. I had to go to one of those functions during nursing school. But my personally matched donor couldn't show because they were so damn old. So I had to DRIVE UP TO THEIR HOUSE IN WESTCHESTER with the admissions dean and look at their photo album(s) of their most recent yacht vacation to South Africa. I had to wear panyhose and the whole afternoon was sheer hell.

9:27 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

as comment number 80, let me say: I really enjoy reading this, and I have put your link on my blog, and I hope you don't mind.
cheers, hedi

11:01 AM  
Blogger hatinutoo said...

Hey 81 is the best...isn't that how it goes? :) I think it's great that you are becoming a doctor...or really whatever you choose to do. It makes me more happy that not all doctors are jackasses. If I did not have children or a need to raise my own I thought of being a doctor. Moreover I just hope you find someone who will make you happy...whether in your "nether"region or not. ;) You don't need counselling unless you're sick of all the uptight morons you sometimes surround yourself with...ie self absorbed women. Take care...I like the way you write. STOP BY MY BLOG SOMETIME...beware it's not very interesting.

1:45 PM  
Blogger Dugi said...

Good on u. With people like u I feel positive about the future:)

2:30 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I always wanted to be Jewish AND a doctor! Love your blog!

3:27 PM  
Blogger Joy said...

What is your opinion of older medical students? Do all you people who went straight to med school out of undergrad look down on those who lived their lives a bit and then went to med school? Or do you find they have more personality, social skills, and real "doctoring" abilities?

6:01 PM  
Blogger 2seetheworld said...

hey - knowing what you don't want is half the battle, right? as for the lovely people you had the joy of encountering at the party, it must really kill them to know (or perhaps their teeney little minds haven't made the connection yet) that the money they contribute will be helping these "lesser persons." and so help me - if i hear another person saying the country is going to crap b/c of immigrants, i think i will have to bang their heads ever so slightly on that little thing called plymouth rock. you know, the rock the IMMIGRANT PILGRIMS first landed on? yeah...bigger picture, people.

love your blog - not many people can convey the sarcasm like you - it's almost like some kind of sick gift. :)

6:05 PM  
Blogger dr-exmedic said...


Have to add my two cents, being on the other side of your question...

I certainly haven't noticed people being prejudiced towards me, although I concede that at 29, I'm not that much older than the rest of them (avg class age=23). If anything, it's quite the reverse: I find myself judging folks because most of them don't have any medical experience. I think a lot of bad doctors happen that way because they think shadowing a doctor for a week was cool, and when they get into the meat of things, they realize they hate what they're doing but with $75k in debt already, they're in too deep to back out.

More rant here

Hope Elli feels better.

7:00 PM  
Blogger NYMacMom w 3 said...

It takes a whole life to stay virtuous. One step at a time.... I have seen many love ones "crossed over" to the dark side and behaving like your dinner companions. It's the $$, the status, the expectation and also the wife you later choose to marry....it happens all the way down under as well.

7:46 PM  
Blogger carolinagirl79 said...

Same thing in the world of law. That's why I left the practice of law to teach.

8:18 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Don't worry--you don't have to go over the dark side! My dad's an MD as well, and is one of the most humble, unassuming men I know (he prefers to use "Mr" in everyday life, whereas some doctors pitch a fit if you leave off those precious letters). And my mom loathes the doctors'-wives events. Just keep it all in perspective!

8:19 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Not all guilt is bad. At a minimum, it indicates that you have a conscience. But you still may need therapy. :-)

As for the plastic people, yes, they are everywhere. If it helps, while you are subjected to the plastic-people-speak, imagine the women in 10-20 more years when no amount of plastic surgery can help and they are traded in for yet a better trophy. And imagine the men stuck with those trophies (or series of trophies) throughout their lives. The last laugh will be yours! (cackle, cackle)

10:55 PM  
Blogger Gary F Gebhardt said...

Although I don't get asked to as many dinner parties as I once did, I find it much more cathartic to gently point out people's intellectual laziness instead of passing it off. As a PhD in a business school, I get more than my share of amazing opportunities to witness people who say the darndest things without ever reflecting on them. I usually ask them why they say such things. OK, it's akward, but you feel better and usually the person realizes that they're being a total ass.

For example, "Well, perhaps if you and your husband were to take some time off and volunteer to work in _____, you could really improve your Spanish. I'd be happy to recommend a place that really needs help. You know, it really changes your perspective when you have such an experience. Improving my Spanish aside, I really can't look at someone from _____ without admiring how much they've had to go through to be here. It reminds me how much my family had to go through when then emigrated from ____."

OK, it is a conversation speed bump, but I always feel better and there's usually at least one other person who takes the ball and runs with it. In other words, if everyone assumes that everyone else is a bigot, crazy stuff keeps being said. If nothing else, someone might stop and think for a change. A spirited exchange of ideas is about the only good thing that ever comes out of dinner with a bunch of strangers (aside from any amorous advances).

You're right, being an MD has a lot of social status. Some people will (and I'm sure already do) look to you for insight beyond medical problems. Be yourself and model how to be mindful. Sometimes, the biggest impact you might have on a person is the most atrophied part of them - which they weren't thinking about when they came to you - their mind.

5:26 AM  
Blogger Sweetea888 said...

Just happened to read your post about the dinner with MD's and their trophy wives and had to comment.

I put my ex-husband through college and med school, suffered through a residency in another, very different state and then helped him find a job in our home town when he couldn't seem to connect on his own.

I (who could by no stretch of the imagination EVER be called a trophy wife)watched this man morph from what I thought was an open-minded, concerned citizen who voted for George McGovern and marched against the Vietnam War, to a Republican bigot who just bought a Lexus SUV for his new wife.

(By the way, he didn't leave me...I left him...It took me 20 years, but I finally realized that the person I thought he was had been replaced by a zombie whose idea of fun was spending money.)

I guess I'm writing to say...Watch Out...those ideals of yours may start slipping if you chose to practice medicine in a place where you can make enough money to pay your school loans, live in a comfortable house and drive a car that you know will start every morning.

There is magic...or maybe I should say Voodoo...in those two little letters...M.D.

Good Luck...

9:28 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You started it. Maybe they were humoring you... just like we are. Love it though, even if you are full of it.

12:12 PM  
Blogger sosaidellie said...

I'm so glad to hear that I'm not the only one around totally disgruntled with higher education.

My flatmate is a med-student and while at the moment he has no idea at all (especially about the grossness, amount of work, and general shit it seems you have to put up with), I have a feeling that he's going to end up just like one of the dickhead doctors you write about.

As for the trophy wives, ACK, I don't know how you restrained yourself.

Keep it up, at least you'll end up with respect...I'm studying medical microbiology and so many people just don't really get it...


5:33 PM  
Blogger Anika From Darwin said...

What bastards!! I'm glad you took the time to write this post!! Good on you!!

6:05 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

Kudos Dude. Participating in ignorant conversations like that only lead to apathy and eventually, you might end up turning into, (gasp), ONE OF THEM!
Knowing what you want always becomes more clear when you take the time to realalize what you do not want.
Best wishes to you, the world needs more like you, especially in helping professions where tolerance and empathy are qualities that are of utmost imortance.

10:40 PM  
Blogger natalia said...

I tend not to comment on posts but this one was so awesome I just had to. People with your level of morality make me think there's hope. Thank you.

10:52 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Synonymous with "Anonymous" a few comments down, why did you change The Fake Doctor to Ah Yes, Medical School? I realized the same thing having been reading your blog since then, but thought maybe it was my own imagination. I am crazy, after all!

No matter, looove your blog and the links. And you are too real to be real. Does that make sense? Well, keep it real anyway.

1:28 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

One more thing...uh, Motherkitty, what the heck is denegrating? Just wondering...

1:31 AM  
Blogger Elvira said...

Those wankers! What bloody bastards!

Enjoy your blog!

3:20 AM  
Blogger Rachel said...

I'm probably lost amongst all the other comments but I'd like to say I know how you feel, being a dentist. And it doesn't get any easier after you graduate either. You need to fight to not lose yourself and the values you hold dear.

3:38 AM  
Blogger Random "Frequent Flyer" Dent said...

you know theres a point in high school when you know something is wrong, but you don't know what. Then all of a sudden a few years later you realize what it is.
People tend to be hypocritical and evil, and money never seems to help cure the situation. It's comforting to know that there are people out there who aren't controlled by greed, and who have a sense of moral decency and a conscience. Those Barbie's were talkin smack b/c they were unhappy, and so boost themselves by calling down people who can't defend themselves.
Actions speak louder than words and are a universal language. Good job, keep your sense of morals and you will probably end up being a happy person, which makes you richer than any amount of money ever could.

7:56 AM  
Blogger TerritorialMale said...

Funny! You're putting that laughing gas to good use.

Please do visit my blog: rubiconcrossed.blogspot.com

10:13 AM  
Blogger Motherkitty said...

In answer to Bella's question, my use of the word "denegrating" means that I made a typo (You weren't denigrating me for making a mistake, were you?). Thanks, though, for catching it. I meant to say "denigrating" but in the heat of the moment, my fingers did some walking on my keyboard. If that still doesn't answer your question, please let me know and I will look the word up in the dictionary for you. I'm surprised you failed to mention the mistake I made when I said "minumum wage" instead of "minimum wage."

10:47 AM  
Blogger mtcutie said...

wow... I've attended a few of those and I completely agree with you.

I'd probably turn around and hang out with the waiting staff if I was there.

good luck,


11:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

nice blog, sounds a lot like me and my friends half-assing our way through middle school.go to www.smsstudentnews.blogspot.com and leave a comment

1:33 PM  
Blogger Esin said...

That was beautiful.

9:32 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

As a doctor's wife of 10 years, I applaud your post. I am so sick of the disgusting circle of wealth that hovers around my husband's chosen profession like bees to nectar. I can barely tolerate the social events anymore.

It is beyond me how an individual who is so familiar with the intimate processes of life and death from the microscopic to the macroscopic--who has had the priviledge of putting their hands on someone's heart, of assisting a new life into the world or even of something as simple as listening daily to the Sound of Life as the blood rushes through the heart's valves--can consider the only thing of value the number of digits in a bank account balance.

Disease is the Great Equalizer. Fighting it should be humbling, yet it is the opposite.

They call my husband Dr. Bleedingheart. There's a reason for that. He volunteered for 3 weeks after Hurricane Katrina, he's been to India, he wants to join Doctors Without Borders. . .

There are a few good-hearted physicans out there who AREN'T in it for The Trophy.

Don't ever lose your heart. Never. Never. Never.
Print this blog & read it once a month after you take that Hippocratic Oath.

Good luck to you. I have high hopes!!

11:26 PM  
Blogger Lian said...

I'm learning a lot. I'm taking a pre-med course and most likely thinking about entering medical school. :) I told my friend about your blog, as well. He's already in medical school in UK. He can use some good read.
I'm wishing you all the best!

6:51 AM  
Blogger aquarian27 said...

Great blog. I was toying with the idea of medical school as well. I'd like to give you the satisfaction of knowing you talked me out of it, but that's not the case, sorry. i'm a bit too old now, and i've decided that i can be just as happy being a nurse. and that way, i can have a real income before i'm 40! Kudos to you though, it really takes a special person to work that hard to help people. keep it up

10:58 AM  
Blogger The Stories You Cannot Tell said...

Great blog man. I probably wouldn't have even noticed it, except for the blogs of note! Good work!

I have to say, that I often throw myself a "pity party", thinking how my life would be had I been born with parents that could support my desire to become a Doctor. I know, I know, we can do anything we set our minds to. Sure, IF we have the cash to get there.

Anyway, my point is that I often thought about a career in medicine, and now, here in type, I can about your experience.

Thanks for the chance to live vicariously through you.

Writing a book?

1:41 PM  
Blogger Oberon said...

.......yes leroy, there is a hell........and yer in it.......who knows, you probably deserve it.........hell, you were begging for it.

2:47 PM  
Blogger flying llama said...

contrary to the opinions of all the other posters (or rather, those whose comments i read before my attention began to wander), i think bigotry and trophy wives are the wondrous wave of the future. (i am, however, opposed to alliteration on principle.) i plan to be a callous and complacent doctor when i graduate from medical school (to which i have not yet been accepted--moot point, really).

3:01 PM  
Blogger Jamie said...

I laughed my ass of! What a great blog, writing career perhaps? Dunno, but I was very entertained!
Oh, good luck on your examine.

3:14 PM  
Blogger Janett said...

Wow. That took integrity to get up from the table and not be a part of what was going on. Definetly chutzpah! I work in an Occupational Health clinic - and am SO very greatful that my doctors aren't *just* nice - but compassionate. They really care about people...and it's genuine. You will be a great doctor.

7:20 PM  
Blogger scrappin_libby said...

I agree with you as you only accept authentic people! Like you, I'd have had to excuse myself from the conversation! Well done!

1:05 AM  
Blogger billymitchel said...

Ah yes, doctors and their wives….enough to loose one’s religion. You would think that a person who has risen to one of the highest points of education would have a far better understanding of the human existence. If only a Hispanic physician were present!!!

Hold the faith and keep the course!! There are many physicians who, like you, yearn for an opportunity to practice to help their fellow humans, not degrade and humiliate!!!

Thoroughly enjoy your postings. I am sure they are one of the few things that keep your sanity in check.

2:16 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Take a look at

Halloween special and Pfizersaurus Rex.


8:34 AM  
Blogger M. said...

Boy am I glad to be doing my studies (yup, first year in medical school) in Toulouse, France, known to be the most "melting pot" student city possible... I also have to say that it's pretty unlikely any doctor here will have spanish speaking household staff. And most of the people here speak spanish anyway (south of france, two hours drive from barcelona).
Oh yeah, by the way, I'm Jewish. And single. ;) And on my way to medical wisdom...

11:11 AM  
Blogger Cie Cheesemeister said...

Gad--I don't care how good the food was, I don't think I could stomach one of those events either. I hate large gatherings of people as it is (except for rock concerts) and I despise having to be fake. But worse, when you find out what such people really are like, you wish they'd be fake because the truth is too horrible!
I think I'd rather croak than have any of these doctors take care of me. We need more human (and humane) doctors, like you!

11:51 PM  
Blogger Dave Hunter said...

I have a useful site I wanted to share with your readers who are aspiring doctors/ medical assistants.

A great resource for medical school can be found at:
All Medical Schools

And for medical assistants at:

Medical Assistant

I hope this helps some readers out in thier search for schools

6:52 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

please keep it up, your morality is inspiring and your blog is enlightening to say the least!

4:59 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


3:23 AM  

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