ndab Ah Yes, Medical School: Excuse Me While I Whip This Out

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Excuse Me While I Whip This Out

Apparently, rumors of my demise have not been as greatly exaggerated as they should have been. Sadly, I have been holed up in my apartment for the last few weeks cramming like no other for Step 2 of the medical board exams. Well, that, and jabbing a pen in my eye and pulling it back out through my nose. As a result, I have not had time to reach into the eternal grabbag of shame known as my stream of consciousness and pull out some mildly comical and moderately depressing observation on the human condition as it relates to my self-centered life as a medical student. However, I promise that I will have a lot to say in the coming weeks, including my in-depth analysis of why interviewing for residency programs while studying for the boards is a really bad idea. In the mean-time, I thought I'd collect a few interesting articles for you all to read because it's pretty clear none of you have any lives anyways:

Groopman on Experimental Drugs

A Take On Apocalypto

Jews, Christians, and Values

And, finally, remember when I wrote up a post detailing my admittedly pathetic attempt at circumcision? When I made a concerted effort to remain neutral as possible regarding this topic, focusing exclusively on my incompetence, so as not to piss off any of the extremists on both sides of the argument? Except I was bombarded by a horde of anti-circumcision fanatics calling me a horrible person, Satan, and other such unpleasentries while suggesting that even the consideration of a itty bitty teeny weeny benefit to circumcision is undeniably wrong? Well, in response, eat shit and die, assholes.

P.S. Extra points if you know which movie has the phrase that inspired the title of this post.


Blogger Eric Dutton said...

Blazing Saddles!
I think this is my first comment on this blog. I don't like thinking that I can be drawn out of my silence by inane trivia.

12:03 AM  
Blogger Kyla said...

Glad to see you're still alive! I was beginning to think that you'd finally succumbed to the fatal pressures of med school, and that your amazing "two-posts-in-one-day" feat was just the final explosion as you went down in a blaze of glory.

Um... but you didn't, so good job. And I have no idea which movie that line comes from. But I'd like to know...

12:30 AM  
Blogger DoctorEarly said...

Noticing you've only two comments thus far, I thought I'd take advantage of such an opportune time (as I usually don't catch them right after you've posted) to thank you for entertaining me so throughout the past couple of years.

Thanks for all of the smiles, laughter , and eclectic array of thoughts and stories from med-school to ruminate on.

You rock!

2:49 AM  
Blogger Twanna A. Hines | FUNKYBROWNCHICK.com said...

Thanks for the circumcision link; I think I missed that post the first time around. :)

By the way ... You said, "it's pretty clear none of you have any lives anyways." Point of clarification: I have a life, I just read your blog because I'm a nosy bastard. That, and I kinda like the first-hand, voyeuristic glimpse into the mind of man slowly falling into med school-induced insanity. ;)

3:59 AM  
Blogger Calavera said...

Good luck with the exams! I, too, have exams soon, so I feel your pain. :(

5:13 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

aaaah! you're awesome...blazing good lusaddles!! what a classic.
anyway, thanks for the post to know you're alive. i am hardcore in exams right now...with one tonight and one tomorrow morning, so i kind of almost come close to sort of understanding somewhat but not even really what is involved in studying for the boards. good luck!

5:27 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ummm....the delete function seems to be unknown to me....
*blazing saddles

5:30 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

LoL you spend your time in a hospital all day and we don't have lives? how un-nice..

8:23 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

we have lives, we just love you =)

snoopy girl

8:24 AM  
Blogger E :) said...

That story about AIDS and circumcision is old and studies have shown this for years.

Love your blog. Damn boards are keeping you from your readers!

6:13 AM  
Blogger Sarah said...

u couldn't have picked a better day to post something. i'm stuck waiting around school to meet w/a professor, bored out of my mind.
u sound a tad more rough around the edges than usual ;)
ur right, i don't have a life....or maybe i do, but it's just a really bad one, so i read ur blog for comic relief :)
good luck w/ur exams/applications...and happy hanukkah

4:15 PM  
Blogger Bob said...

Blazing saddles!

Darn it, it seems I have been beaten to it...:(

1:12 PM  
Blogger Suchie said...

That lead researcher works at my school. They are definitely proud of him. Glad he could help your case :)

12:02 AM  
Blogger The Angry Medic said...

Blazing saddles! (cos everyone else seems to be saying it)

He's alive! He's ALIVE!

Pah, exams. They do get in the way of blogging, don't they? Bloody distractions.

7:34 AM  
Blogger Anonymous GP said...


Happy Chanuka..

Oh, did u see the guy who did the HIV study is called Dr Kevin... DE COCK??? Fate?? I think so :)

Thanks for the entertainment :)

9:49 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Lili Von Shtupp: Is it true how zey say zat you people are... gifted?

[Lights go out, sound of zipper opening]

Oh. It's twue. It's twue. It's twue, it's twue!

12:33 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm glad to see you're back! I found your blog a week or so ago and read the whole thing in one sitting...I don't know where you get the idea we don't have lives. It's too bad that I'm not Jewish, otherwise I would TOTALLY send you some naked pics...I look a lot like Natalie Portman if you stand about 500 ft away and sort of squint while turning your head sideways...oh, well, your loss :) Have fun with those boards!

9:06 PM  
Blogger Thoughts on Life and Millinery. said...

And be sure to take some time during the eight nights to catch the video "The Hebrew Hammer"
If you liked Blazing Saddles, you'll love this!

8:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Happy Hanukkah

6:07 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

y'all should ck the NY times. huge article (last week) on how it's finally been shown that cicumsicion cuts down on HIV infections.

6:22 PM  
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9:27 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Get that above narc advertiser out of here. Talk about drug-seeking behaviors.

Good to have you back Fake MD.

5:06 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

is this free ps3/wii site legit?

7:31 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Per a previous post...There is a online test regarding medical specialties that is kind of interesting. Go to:
punchberry.blogspot.com and look for the link.

signed, Gold star med student.

7:47 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is totally off-topic but as a "Fake Doctor" it may be of interest in you. It was quite impressive.....

Have you ever heard of Body Worlds:



9:13 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ah yes, nothing like a goold old circumcision. I have had two circumcisions during my life - because my schlong was just too big for the ladies - and as a professor of medicine, I highly recommend it.

11:09 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Fake Doctor,

for some freak reason, I'm usually attracted to guys of a different race other than my own. but I'm terrified that (as my overbearing parents tell me) i might end up with a child with a genetic disease due to marrying and *you know*ing with a guy of a differnet race. can you tell me if *doing it* for interracial couples produces a higher, lower or no difference risk of genetic diseases among kids?

11:57 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

how is 2 circumsicions possible? I thought once it was gone its gone..

12:01 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Happy Hannakah (sp)

12:02 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

about the 2 circumcision thing... prof scrub is a spammer that's why!

Great blog... been a long time reader, now a first time poster.

p.s. you're right. I have no life.

4:56 PM  
Blogger SWF42 said...

Good to know you're still out there and keeping us entertained. That is, after all, what we want from our physicians...entertainment.

Remember that.

8:08 AM  
Blogger 911DOC said...

Sherrif Bart (played by Cleavon Little), Blazing Saddles. You write well. You are linked at my blog. Great reading on a graveyard in the ED.

2:43 AM  
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