“Umm…I think we’re missing something.”
“Ehh…where’s the box spring?”
(In unison) “Shit.”
An airborne box spring sailing somewhere on one of the major streets we had just driven past has made me a little introspective over the last 24 hours. I couldn’t help but feel that, during these last few months, I too had been missing something. I couldn’t shake the notion that there was something I was supposed to be doing, someone I was supposed to be talking to about something moderately important that had happened in my life, someone who was exceedingly thoughtful and genuine with concern for my future. What could it possibly be? Fortunately, I have you, the reader, to keep me in line in situations like this. For as I searched for this missing aspect of my life, I received an email with the subject heading “Fuckface”, by S.C., that went as follows:
“Did you match you fuckin’ cock sucker?”
Of course! After all this soul-searching, I knew that what was missing was…passion. Passion for the career-path that I am following. Passion for the study of medicine. Passion for a life that thousands of people work so hard to attain each year, a life that I have been trying to minimize during these last four years. In all seriousness, if I had the opportunity to look at myself as I was four years ago, I would have a hard time recognizing the idealism, hope, and excitement that I had within me throughout college and the start of medical school. At some point during the last four years, something started seeping out of me, slowly at first, but then quickly and ferociously, and it makes me sad that I have such a hard time reigniting that fire again. So it is with a mixture of excitement, trepidation, and somber realism (something I clearly lacked before embarking on my medical school career) that I have matched at my first choice institution. More importantly, I am hopeful that that missing element, akin to the joy that people who love their jobs and their lives display for everyone to see, will begin to reveal itself once again.
Wait, what was that? I have to work 80 hours a week? Christ. Well, on the bright side, my dad and I found the box spring resting comfortably on the side of a quiet street, far away from oncoming traffic, and in surprisingly good condition. Something is missing, no more.
Huh? Oh you want to know where I matched? Seems like there's always something missing, no matter how hard I try...