ndab Ah Yes, Medical School: A Grand Entrance

Sunday, October 30, 2005

A Grand Entrance

It is perhaps the cruelest of ironies that while each and every person on Earth makes at least one grand entrance in their lifetime, an entrance so grand that they are truly the center of attention, they will without a doubt never be able to recall this moment for their entire lives. Now, the vast majority of us will never be able to follow through with subsequent grand entrances, achieved only by a select few and involving some of the following features: being able to walk down a red carpet, having everyone in a large room stop talking and begin looking at you, or the always classic walking into a crowded lecture hall 20 minutes late with the girl you just hooked up with quickly following behind you only to have 120 of your peers stop what they are doing, stare, and gasp in the sheer horror of finally understanding what diabolically evil sexual acts must have gone on among all those folds and male breasts the night before (this calls for the obligatory "Boop boop bee doop" inside joke understandable to about five people - apologies to the general public). However, there was that one time in your life when, after hours and hours of labor, you made your first entrance, your grand entrance, into this world covered in slime and providing that beautiful spectrum of emotions, ranging from “It’s a miracle!” to “How the hell am I going to pay for that?” for your parents. In honor of this moment, and as a nice way of capping off my two weeks on the labor and delivery service (which I thoroughly enjoyed - watch out ladies, I might actually want to do OB/Gyn), I thought I'd share a few of the more memorable delivery moments that marked a few special babies' grand entrances into this world, because, lets face it...it's all downhill from here:

Since the baby’s head was up, in a breech position that failed non-invasive attempts to correct this position, a scheduled cesarean section was indicated. The mother was wheeled to the operating room, and the surgery began soon thereafter. A few slices of the skin later, and the residents had reached the uterus, ready to expose the child and bring him out to the world he would be residing in for the next few years. Except the thing with a breech delivery is, no matter whether it’s a vaginal or c-section delivery, the butt naturally comes out first. So when the residents cut through the uterus and began extracting the baby from his mother’s womb, they had to reach inside and grab the baby’s behind, squeezing it through the hole they had just created. A hole, I should remind you, that was not all that large. Perhaps it was the pressure of the moment, perhaps the stress of the onlookers in their sterile garb, perhaps the fact that the surgeons were very strongly squeezing his butt cheeks, or perhaps it was the infant’s subconscious (or conscious?) knowledge that he was literally marking the beginning of his life with his best face forward, but he decided to greet the onlookers, surgeons, and parents the only way he saw fit given these circumstances: by dropping a massive poop all over himself, his mother, and a couple of unfortunately placed hands attached to an otherwise lovely and poo-free intern*. Well played, young man. Well played…

In the pre-delivery commotion that enveloped one labor and delivery room, just about everyone failed to notice the subtle but purposeful motion the husband made for their designer bag just as delivery was imminent and as he was trying (but failing) to give his wife breathing instructions through his counting. His wife, an attractive young woman pushing strongly while heavily medicated, started barking at her husband to stop counting and do away with all the stuff they’d practiced in a ritzy and posh Lamaze class they had attended in the months leading up to the surgery. Instead, just as the baby’s head was ready to emerge, the husband reached for his overpriced camera and started snapping pictures. Then, as the baby finally plowed her way through her mother’s vagina, he reached for his razor-thin cell phone and began calling someone, only to quickly shove the phone to his wife’s ear seconds after delivery, baby in hand and cord just severed. Sensing the ridiculous situation for what it was, the mother realized that she was not ready to talk on the cell phone…not now, not right after pushing a big baby through her not so big vagina, of course. How dare her husband ruin the moment by intruding with a cell phone. So naturally, given this situation, the mother did what any self-respecting woman would do. Throw the phone away and embrace her baby? Tell her husband he’s an idiot? Ask about any Jewish single men in the room? No, no, and…uhh…yes (see below). Instead, she began a habit she would likely regret sometime in the next ten to twelve years (and subsequently thereafter) and placed the cell phone on the baby’s ear, starting the baby on a habit more dangerous than crack, porn, and snacking on all the free food at Costco combined, all only moments out of the womb. Only twenty seconds into life, and this baby had taken to a cell phone and began making those odd baby noises into it, not wanting to relinquish its control. Sill mere seconds into life, and this baby had already used up valuable daytime minutes on her parent’s cell phone plan, already annoyed a whole bunch of people nearby by talking on a cell phone at an inappropriate time, and already gabbed enough on the phone to set in stone her destiny as a future Jewish American Princess. To whom was this baby speaking? Why did her parents choose to have her first conversation be on the phone? And why did the mother, while I was pulling a placenta out of her uterus and vagina, think it was an appropriate time to mention that she had a single younger sister she wanted me to meet? The answer to all these questions is unknown, but can likely be pieced together from within the cries of that fateful first cell phone conversation. Whispers of “Gucci”, “Louis Vuitton”, and “Prada” filled the steamy atmosphere, but not a single utterance of the word “Kirkland” was to be found (although they do make nice jeans and toilet paper.)…

The last delivery I was privileged to few was much like the first, and much like most of the ones in between. A family of five filled the room, a father, grandparents, and a couple of children, all anxiously waiting for that moment when mom would push yet another child into existence. Hours of labor passed by, with mom’s concentrated effort to push at two minute intervals not yielding much success in bringing the baby out but yielding many beads of sweat down her forehead. Eventually, however, the pushing began to work, because before we knew it, a head was plummeting down her vaginal canal and ready to burst into reality. The mom was now screaming in pain, the dad looking on anxiously, and the grandparents watching with a mixture of dread, despair, and hope while they covered their gaping mouths with their trembling hands. More pushing, and now the bulk of the head was visible. Pulsations were felt going across the baby’s scalp, and we knew she was almost ready to come out. A few more pushes and there she was, a blue baby girl, poking her head out of the womb she called home for about nine months and taking her first gasp of our atmosphere. As she was extracted from her mother’s womb, her father gave a cry of joy, her grandparents felt warm tears start streaming from their eyes, and her mother sighed in relief of a job well done, about ready to receive the fruits of her labor (pun marginally intended) when the resident quickly handed the baby over to her. The father then cut the cord, and the baby was now free, ready to begin life…

Why this last story, when it is clear that nothing eventful happened, nothing all that ridiculous, entertaining, or gross? Because what I’ve learned from my two weeks on Labor & Delivery is that even the utterly mundane, the uneventful, the sheer boredom inherent in obstetrics is more awe inspiring, more beautiful a moment in time than just about anything I have ever seen, whether in medical school or in life as a whole. There is really nothing quite like it, and even the simplest delivery to the most non-descript family at the most inauspicious time still warrants the title of a grand entrance for the baby in that family’s line, and I defy anyone to prove otherwise.

Can you believe what kind of a sap I’ve turned into these last few weeks? Good lord. Wait, what’s that? You can? Thanks.

*I shit you not. Sorry, I just couldn’t help myself.


Blogger Lamplighter said...

Very vivid imagery. It must be a pretty intense and honoring ordeal to witness such an event.

2:14 PM  
Blogger Sarah said...

Thanks for sharing those stories. I'm a nursing student and was thinking I might enjoy labor and delivery too. I think it's the only type of nursing where the majority of the time it's a joyous occasion, (except for those unwanted baby situations or complications), rather than someone being sick or dying, which I think would be hard for me to deal with every day. I wonder if the miracle of birth loses it's awe and wonder after witnessing it a million times. I hope not. Good luck to you. I bet you would make a great ob/gyn. It seems like you would make women feel very comfortable with your sense of humor and lightheartedness. Go for it :)

2:36 PM  
Blogger Sarah said...

P.S. I forgot to mention one downside to you becoming an ob/gyn...if you are good looking....it really sucks to have a good looking man seeing you in that condition, at your worst possible moment!! (It happened to me). It seems like the woman would be so distracted by the birth of her baby that she wouldn't care, but some of us are quite modest, so much so that we're uncomfortable, even during giving birth, being sprawled out for the world to see. It's amplified when the guy standin' there watching all the action between your legs happens to be handsome. :)

2:49 PM  
Blogger Jose said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

3:01 PM  
Blogger Jose said...

I saw my son's grand entrance into this world 5 weeks ago, you are right, it is quite a sight, it's amazing.

Great Blog, keep the stories coming, if you can practice medicine like you can write you'll be allright.


3:05 PM  
Blogger Hillel said...

Hey, just happened to come across your blogg. very cool, u got a nice writing style. Just thought I'd leave a comment abou the blogg as a whole. Chazak V'Ematz!

3:16 PM  
Blogger Carina said...

That last one sounds like both of my L&Ds--only add lots of screaming (very therapeutic when there are no painkillers involved).

Ob/Gyn is a hard life. Long hours, longer hours, oh-my-God-I'm-never-getting-home longer hours. It's good, though, if you love it. You have to love it for it to work.

Of course, there's always internal medicine, and my hubby's practice is hiring. ;)

3:17 PM  
Blogger Litahnee said...

Well Fake Doctor, I think you are going to have to drop that moniker soon enough. Seems to me the 'faking' may have to apply to only one aspect of your life (ahem).

I do find the whole J.A.P stereotype a bit misleading.
Being stuck up your own arse is not an exclusively jewish girl phenomenon. You pick the ethnicity, I can pick out the so-called princess.

If any girl does self confess to being a princess I don't spare them. The fact they(have to)tell you that they area princess, in a manner that is both 'don't blame me, my parents made me this way' and 'I know I am a greater irritation than a VD, but I'm not changing my friggin ways' pisses me off.

So if someone does self-confess their 'princess' disposition I ask 'So are your parents siblings or 1st cousins? You know how all those royals are inbred'

3:18 PM  
Blogger Rachel said...

Now if you can retain that fresh optimism you will be one fabulous ob!

Any chance you will do your next rotation in Toronto? No, not because I am in the market for a gynecologist. I hear they have some nice, non-jappy, Jewish girls there...

3:35 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

To michelle the nursing student,
(from a fairly new RN who remembers the agony of choosing a specialty fresh out of school)

L&D does probably have more sheer joy involved than any other field. However, there are 2 big downsides to it:

1) The completely depressing despair of fetal demise is lower for morale than just about anything you're going to see in any area of the hospital.

2) Down time, aka recording contraction/FHT strips, aka sitting on your ass for long periods of time. This is why I chose ER...I like my ass the size it is and no larger. Happy choosing for you, though. :)

To the Fake Doctor,
I like your blog. That's all. :)

3:42 PM  
Blogger Tidy Bowl said...

Wow... must be incredible, to see human life begin. What an amazing moment.

I will say this, though... As a female, when I am choosing an OB/GYN, you better believe I am not gonna split my legs for some hot Tom Cruise or Brad Pitt look-alike. If you are as good-looking as you claim to be... well, consider yourself warned.

3:45 PM  
Blogger Motherkitty said...

The hospital system where I used to work recently decided to stop delivering babies because of high medical malpractice insurance premiums. The mothers in our community now have to drive approximately one hour to get the OB/GYN care they need. If you decide to go into OB/GYN as your specialty, please consider that delivering healthy babies from healthy mothers is far more important than insurance premiums. I believe you would make a fine OB/GYN. You appear to have just the right amount of sensitivity needed for this area of medicine. You are articulate, funny, seem to like women very much, and can appreciate a good poop even when it's unexpected. Keep up the good work.

3:45 PM  
Blogger Huda said...

Cool Blog.Great writing.You should make a book out of all your entries.

4:09 PM  
Blogger Lolita said...

The miracle of life is just that - a miracle, a grand entrance into a crazy world, into one where 50% of the parents end up divorcing (that is if they were married in the first place). And yet, how can one not be in awe of the whole thing?

And if you think THIS is amazing, wait until you have kids of your own. The miracle of life only gets more miraculous...

Of course it would help to remember this when the kids become ingrate teenagers... I'm now teaching biology, technology and computer science to a little over 100 of those teenagers... and my kids are approaching that age as well... yikes!

4:15 PM  
Blogger Sandy said...

very well put. Aiiiygh...I wanted to work OB or ER so badly and I JUST landed a job in the ER, but your post makes me wanna choose OB instead! I forgot how utterly amazing it is.

4:32 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

For the record, here's one woman who doesn't give a darn about her OB's hotness factor! (Or gender.) So if OB's your thing, more power to you.

4:58 PM  
Blogger Jen said...

Good for you,man. What it must be like to have that kind of meaning in one's work. I'm training to become an archivist,and its pretty damn shallow by comparison.

5:05 PM  
Blogger Anna said...

Love the story about the baby poop - very well done by the wee fella, considering that you can pave roads with the first few days worth of newborn shit.

The only time my husband has cried in his life was the day each of our sons were born. And he isn't a big sap either....

5:41 PM  
Blogger redhead83402 said...

I have often wondered if there are any secularist or atheist L & B docs out there. ;-D Hard to deny God during the miracle of birth, eh? Or at least some higher Deity in charge,lol.

~ Just sitting here reflecting on what it must be like to have these sort of ~Journalistic Event~ entries on your life, and have people commenting on them all of the time.
I completely agree with deedee that you ought to publish your blogs. If for nothing else than your own personal history. Print them off and bind them yourself if you have to, and save them for your grandkids to enjoy.
And if you do publish the blogs as a book, be sure to include the comments after each one, they are sort of like a pulse on what you write about. How many authors get to have reader's comments on a regular basis like that? That's an opportunity dude!!

5:58 PM  
Blogger Daphnewood said...

My husband almost went into OB/Gyn. He loved the rush he got from delivering babies. The very first baby he delivered (he was MSIII) was a boy. This was the 5th child for the 19 year old mother. My husband wanted to go buy some type of college bond for the kid. He was that moved by the experience. Moved enough to want to pay for this kid's college when he hadn't even bought his own children college bonds. I shit you not.

Your blog is great. It's like I am reliving the med school years with my husband but without the stress. It's much more funny and exciting in hindsight :)

6:22 PM  
Blogger SVN, prn said...

I went through some of the same feelings you experienced during my mostly observational rotation in L&D.

Just shortly after that I was in the OR and I was less-than impressed. I suppose after seeing a c-section and then watching a Cholecystectomy, I'd rather see something good come out of an abdomen, a baby and not a gallbladder, too boring.

6:47 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

I often wonder if you would settle for a half-Jewish girl. She's my sister, and she is lovely. But her mother (alright, MY mother too) married a Gentile. Oy!

6:49 PM  
Blogger Fernando Olmos said...

good writer, although the topic is very very weird...well....

I cannot deny everybody loves different things...


6:53 PM  
Blogger sunkist_5000 said...

Well Fake Dr.,
Another fabulous post!
Two things though, 1) Regarding the "grand entrance" at the lecture, was that your not so subtle way of letting us know you got lucky? If so yippee! and 2) when I gave birth to my daughter, my labor was extremely long, 49 hours including breaking my water and inducing me with drugs. I became completely exhausted and I was in alot of pain. When the nurse came in to administer demorol into my I.V. in a matter of seconds I went from, "I can't take this anymore" to "Wow, I really like your hair!" To use one of your favorite expressions Fake Dr., I shit you not! So don't be suprised if these ladies shock you with what seems to be comments that are completely off the wall and inapropriate. Obviously, they are not thinking clearly, and just as it goes with parenting, there is no manual for child birth! Keep up the excellent work!

7:51 PM  
Blogger amberraysofdawn said...

Wow. I've been thinking about going into Obstetrics when I graduate from nursing school, but your posts pretty much have sold me. And Michelle was right - you seem like the kind of guy who would make women feel more comfortable around in an OB/GYN situation. I wish you the best of luck throughout the rest of med school.

8:07 PM  
Blogger Tom said...

It sure is a grand entrance, one that can never be relived (thankfully). I've been having to read your blog at home so as not to bust out laughing at work...keep that up. I too, as a nursing student have seen this wonderful thing, and in no way will you ever find me in L & D (heck, I even tried to see if there was a way to skip that rotation if I signed something saying I would never, ever work L & D, but alas that didn't work). But it sounds like you kind of dig it...good on ya'!

8:18 PM  
Blogger SaraSmile said...

Too bad I have decided three kids are MORE than enough! LOL I want you to be my doctor. Oh well, too late.

My best friend has witnessed the birth of all three of mine, and now pretty much doesn't want to go through it herself. It's not pretty... but it is ABSOLUTELY incredible. What's even more incredible? Looking down at that little life, knowing that it is from you and of you, and knowing that for the rest of your life, at least one little piece of your heart is beating on, outside your body.

8:36 PM  
Blogger The Creative Death said...

Hahahha, thats awesome.
People are unbelievable! The things you must see!

8:45 PM  
Blogger MattHeatherEmma said...

Having gone through it all just 5 months ago with the birth of my daughter I cannot describe the awe that was in the L&D room. The most beautiful sound I have ever heard was my daughter's first cry in this world. I didn't speak for almost 2 hours (and that is RARE I can assure you) after her birth as I was 1. exhausted and 2. amazed that my body created such perfect little being.
I applaude you for your reflection on this topic. Your care for your patients appears to be genuine. Keep up that spirit!
Thank you for sharing those stories. It brought the day into perspective.

8:55 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I've been reading your site for a few weeks now and I love it. I hope I am able to pen my future clinical experiences with as much wit vulgarity, and insight (especially the vulgarity, because that's what's most important) as you have.

That said, I know of your near-felonious obsession with Natalie Portman. Her HS yearbook is available on EBay; as of this writing you have a little more than 2 days before it goes to a more undeserving fan. Cheers!

9:00 PM  
Blogger Ilene said...

Beautifully said. My ob/gyn lives on Red Bull and says it's like having a newborn all the time. That said, he must love it because he's been doing it for 25 years or so...

9:36 PM  
Blogger Sarah said...

Thanks for the insight, Krista. I would rather my ass didn't get large either! (Maybe I can go to a gym when I'm off). I can see what you are saying about losing babies as well. I guess I will wait and see once I've tried a little of everything (I start clinicals in Jan.). Take care :)

9:42 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Looks like someone has found a calling. I mean that sincerely. Birth IS the most beautiful thing on earth. Imagine being a part of that on a daily basis.

10:22 PM  
Blogger Julia said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

11:06 PM  
Blogger Twanna A. Hines | FUNKYBROWNCHICK.com said...

"[E]ven the utterly mundane, the uneventful, the sheer boredom inherent in obstetrics is more awe inspiring, more beautiful a moment in time than just about anything I have ever seen, whether in medical school or in life as a whole."

That's beautiful; it sounds like the OB/GYN route may be the one for you.

11:16 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Great Blog. I am in the medical field and have worked many fields, but never L&D, unless you count the deliveries of my two boys... I would have to say that was work. I have worked many other fields and medicine can be exciting or boring, it all depends on what you like. I have worked with residents and also with Med students, and you are right they do say some stupid things, but they give all of us that are in the field something (or someone) to talk about other than what interesting case you saw today on a patient. I will be sure to continue to follow you through these wonderful times, and if you ever want a little advice, just ask. I have been in the field 9 years. Keep up the great blogging, it gives me something to do while I work endless night shifts.

3:13 AM  
Blogger Kate Mc said...

Thank you for making me laugh, and grin like a freaking idiot once again. I think anyone would be lucky to have you as a doctor, as a sense of humor is half the battle. =)

3:30 AM  
Blogger "Jet" said...

I personally like the comment... Plows down the vaginal canal!! I am sure L & D can be a very rewarding position in the medical field as you are indtroducing new lives into the world... But if you are as cute as you say you are, you may end up with lots of hot mommas looking for a piece!!

3:33 AM  
Blogger L.Bo Marie said...

I wish I was jewish

5:20 AM  
Blogger The Expatresse said...

I'm glad L&D affected you so profoundly. It should be a wonderful moment even if it is mundane. You got it right on. It's even cooler if you are the mom. I had an unmedicated water birth (attended by an OB, a midwife, a neonatalogist . . . and cast of family extras) in my apartment in Buenos Aires (L O N G story). It was so cool feeling my body do what it is supposed to do. Even cooler when the baby emerged! I'm sort of sorry I waited until my late 30s to start having kids as I actually enjoyed the entire process.

5:30 AM  
Blogger missbhavens said...

Oh, I saw that coming! It occured to me from reading your first OB rotation post that you might get Hooked On Childbirth.

Sometimes it's gross, sometimes it's sad and sometimes it IS boring...but it's still a hell of a thing to get to be a part of.

It's hellacool.

5:37 AM  
Blogger Ladybug Ann said...

You are right, every birth is a miracle. Your entry made me tear up, especially since my husband and I are trying to struggle through infertility to bring our very own superstar into the world.

Love your blog, keep it up.

7:34 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That's it, I'm getting my tubes tied. By the way, since you enjoyed my photos before, I just posted an update that includes surgery AND boobs!

10:28 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Fake Doctor your blog is a real kick to read. I predict you'll be the next Michael Crichton! You've got to promise your fans here in blogland that you will publish someday.
I think you'll make a fine obgyn someday if that is your final calling.

11:42 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

On the other hand, if you choose pediatrics as your specialty, you could be the next Dr. Spock in publishing.

11:51 AM  
Blogger Ambivalent Engineer said...

What keeps the inside of those membranes around the fetus sterile during pregnancy?

* How can it be the mom's immune system, if that's kept on the other side of the placenta?

* Is it the baby's immune system, this being the same baby who, months later, is going to be using antibodies from mom to supplement an immune system that still hasn't figured out which way is up?

* Clean from the start? How can it start that way when the bloodstream isn't even clean enough?

1:39 PM  
Blogger dr-exmedic said...

I'm surprised you didn't have a story about the moms who are just as inspired by birth as you, and want a mirror to watch themselves deliver...

Then again, how do they keep up enough concentration to watch themselves?

2:27 PM  
Blogger Jen said...

I think you would make a great OB/GYN, you seem to have the mindset for it.

On a different note as a response to some of the other commenters, I'm not really concerned with the hotness (or lack thereof) of my gynecologist, but rather the size of his/her hands!

3:10 PM  
Blogger Anhoni Patel said...

"And why did the mother, while I was pulling a placenta out of her uterus and vagina, think it was an appropriate time to mention that she had a single younger sister she wanted me to meet?"

Did she really start trying to matchmake you? With your hand in her hoo-ha? That's ridiculous. Honestly, that first couple made me want to gag. I guess they start emotional dysfunction early in that family.

3:18 PM  
Blogger A. said...

I do adore your blog. I'm becoming addicted to your posts. and I love that you liked L&D so much. although I personally prefer an OB who has actually given birth, I honestly think that you would make a wonderful doctor in that specialty. I hope you can maintain that sense of wonder if you do follow that path.

7:52 PM  
Blogger addiern said...

As a OB nurse I again completely undrstand the amazement of seeing life begin.There are so many sad times on OB and when things go well its wonderful. I have worked med surg and long term and this is by far the most rewarding experience. Being a mom of three beautiful girls I feel blessed to be a part of the families miracles.Great blog...keep em coming...

8:13 PM  
Blogger redhead83402 said...

You know who you remind me of? Have you ever heard of James Harriet? He wrote ~All Things Wise and Wonderful~, only difference is, he was a vet. But I bet if you changed all the names, legally you could get away with writing about all your experiences too. You have far too entertaining writing skills to neglect them, and besides which, if they make the best-sellers, it's good fundage!

8:17 PM  
Blogger If I tell ya, I'll have to kill ya said...

A softer side? A brilliant mind? A fabulous sense of humor?

Loved your post.

11:50 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Uh actually, it's James Herriot, not Harriet.

2:46 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

PS: And as for hotness of said Fake Doctor, it depends. Do you think Chandler (as in Matthew Perry from Friends) is hot? Cos he sure as hell looks like him.

2:48 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

:) every time i goto your blog I feel like a kid on Christmas day, with fingers trembling as i click the mousepad to open the "ah yes medical school" bookmark. its always a treat, vivid imageries and all =)

-miss anonymous

7:18 AM  
Blogger redhead83402 said...

Thanks anonymous, my bad on the typo ~ :-p ~

7:51 AM  
Blogger Sara Lindsey said...

Dear Fake Doctor,
I recently stumbled across your blog and my mom and I have been thoroughly enjoying your hysterical stories. They alternately have me studying my MCAT book in joyous anticipation and hurling the book across the room as I think to myself, no f@%#ing way!!! In any case, I am 22, cute, intelligent and JEWISH, I live in the Los Angeles area and I find Chanandler Bong hot! My grandmother is enthralled by the very thought of you - well, as a good Jewish boy you know how it is...
So, do you want to talk me out of going to medical school while there's still time?

8:08 AM  
Blogger doulicia said...

Please tell me they do not teach you to "pull" out the placenta!

Glad you enjoyed your stint in the delivery room.

Just remember: at a vaginal birth, it's the mother who delivers the baby, regardless of who catches it.

10:44 AM  
Blogger Steven said...

Good job on the blog and your work at OB/Gyn.

You know, it's actually really good reading your posts because those of us who have no idea what it's like to work in the field will get a taste of your life. And, of course, we too can start rolling our eyes at ER-style TV programs when they start doing things not like real life.

And did you manage to meet that 'single, younger sister'?

Keep it up.

1:44 PM  
Blogger clumsy-of-me said...

I have really enjoyed your blog. It took awhile to go back and read all of your posts from beginning to "A Grand Entrance" but, I enjoyed every word. I think you would be a fantastic OB/GYN. After years of doc's that are more worried about how many appts they can cattle-call through in one day, a doctor with sensitivity, humor and compassion would be a dream come true. Not to mention, you look like Matthew Perry. Hottie!

4:06 PM  
Blogger ArleneWKW said...

I continue to enjoy your wonderful stories. I've printed the last one out for my hubby to read. I have no doubt that your cell phone story will come up in conversation, probably lots of people's conversations, maybe eventually coming back to you. "Did you hear about . . . " Thanks for sharing your humorous way of dealing with the situations in which you find yourself.

5:33 PM  
Blogger woundnurse said...

you continue to allow all of us to see that doctors are people, too. Even as a nurse, I sometimes see doctors as, well, assholes. Its not often, but I do come across a doctor that still thinks he's god and he created all things. Too bad for him/her.
Stay human, stay real. You'll be awesome as any kind of doctor, and you're already an awesome author, please publish.

6:19 PM  
Blogger Marissa Engel said...

I managed to witness my 3 brother's grand entrances and spent most of my childhood wishing i could send them back.

Your cel phone story was hysterical. I imagine one of the drawbacks to OB/Gyn would be not being able to stop certain parents from breeding.

11:28 AM  
Blogger emily said...

Awesome. Isn't childbirth one of the strangest "ordinary" moments in life? When I worked on L&D I was embarrassed that every delivery I attended made my eyes tear up and my throat tighten.
Thanks for a refreshing perspective on a med student's experience. I enjoy the way you write!

11:38 PM  
Blogger Cie Cheesemeister said...

Maybe someone could have kicked her husband for having his cell phone on at such a time?
I could never have had a crowd like that around when I was giving birth. My mother insisted on being there and I ended up kicking her out because she said things like "well, now you know--it really hurts!" My father tried to be sympathetic but I kicked him out too. I also kicked the nurse out. And when only the doctor and my then-husband were there, I asked about having a c-section because I'd been in really hard labor for 10 hours and only progressed to 3 centimeters dilation and the baby's heart rate was slowing.
I was unconscious when my son was born (due to general anasthesia) and didn't meet him until 5 hours later. But everything turned out fine. He is now 15 years old.
Birth really is a miracle. You are doing a great thing with your life.

4:28 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


My mom bumped into your blog I don't know where and, knowing my aspirations to become a doctor, told me to visit it, that perhaps I would find it interesting.

At first, I didn't know exactly what to expect. A few minutes later, however, your blog was already on my Favourites list! I really enjoyed reading your posts (which, by the way, are really well written)! Your stories and thoughts on life/school are extremely amusing, and have become an excellent reading material for my not-so-busy hours.

Well, anyway, congratulations on your blog! Keep up the good work!

2:37 PM  
Blogger Dazed And Confused said...

loved this post! absolutely loved it! cheered me up immensely prior to my starting 7 night shifts on the grrrr-renal unit.

"Well-played young man, well-played" - genius

11:13 AM  
Blogger James Lindsay said...

Dood... I got a link to your blog from one of my 16 year old high-school students.

Your blog ROCKS!

5:17 PM  
Blogger HanktheDog said...

Fine writing, Fake Doctor. You have a wonderful blog.

8:59 AM  
Blogger Searcher said...

Thanks for sharing your experiences as a med student. In a way I get a glimpse of what would've been if I had stuck to the med track by reading your posts.

Congrats on witnessing these precious moments.

8:11 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thanks for the positive antidotes. I'm trying and failing to get pregnant at the moment and it's surprisingly easy to forget what the end goal is. So thankyou.

9:27 PM  
Blogger Sangre de Frijoles said...

how did you end up with so many comments? I guess it's everyones aspiration to be a doctor, but know its not possible so instead they live through you. funny huh? I'm not making any sense, but rich people are a royal pain, and it's funny how you rant about them, and everyone identifies, but actually some people find you rich, powerful, and add you as their friend to a) surround themself with a selected circle(rather snobby, you think)
b)think that they can seduce you and hopefully marry a rich doctor(damn goldddiggers)
c) actually know you( so excludes any selfish desires)
d) think your thoughts are quite fascinating( yay!)
I have no idea why I'm so bias towards your commenters, maybe good ol'Marx and Engel got to me. I dunno, I'm sorry if I offended you. Hopefully you will never read this, forgot my silly comment, and phew.. I won't have embarass myself by explaining. *crosses fingers
Mucho Love

12:12 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Witty? Check.
Smart? Check.
Jewish? Check.
Dr to be? Check.

You have got to realize what you, yourself have got going on! Doogie's got nothing on you - I cite all the comments coming from the female persuasion on you blog. Being another one, I just have to iterate that I'm a fan ;)

10:37 PM  
Blogger joyfish said...

I couldn't believe after hours of pushing that a real baby came out...thanks for rekindling the memories. You seem like you'd be a terrific OB.

5:17 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Excellent my niece just made the same entrance as the poo baby boy!! It's excellent !

1:01 PM  
Blogger lee said...

That first moment when you look into your baby's eyes and you meet this little person that you have made-now that is true love,unlike any other.ahhh... :) .

3:09 AM  
Blogger ramalara said...

I've been lamenting the dearth of ob/gyns. I hear they get sued a lot.

Please do it. Seriously. It would be a service to womankind.

11:04 AM  
Blogger B.Amelia said...

This is a really good blog. For someone who wants to go to Med School, i like having a little peak into what i will encounter. And that being a doctor doesn't totally suck the life(or humor) out of you.

12:02 PM  
Blogger joyfish said...

Hurry up, get your nose out of those books and post more! We're waiting!

4:38 PM  
Blogger Debbie Cakes said...

Giving birth. I once compared it to your first roller coaster ride. It's the scariest and most exciting experience and when it's all over, your incredibly relieved and want to do it all over again.
Oh yeah- thanks for the link in answer to Fake Dr. Answers regarding my "Grey's Anatomy rant"....I'm so flattered.

9:02 AM  

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