ndab Ah Yes, Medical School: Consider My Enthusiasm Curbed

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Consider My Enthusiasm Curbed

Apparently, I have a problem. Well, that’s not exactly a shocking revelation, because I have lots of problems: being awkward, lacking in social graces, excessive attractiveness. But I knew about those problems. It wasn’t until today that another problem dawned upon me while walking the halls of the hospital. See, I have a completely irrational fascination with people’s names and the jobs people perform in the hospital.

That’s not the problem.

The problem is that this key information is almost universally carried on little ID badges that the vast majority of people wear on one particular part of their clothing, the chest pocket.
This, it turns out, is a problem.

It’s a problem because there’s something else that is commonly found in that exact same region on about half of the people who work in the hospital: boobs. And when word gets out that some jackass resident is blatantly staring at all the doctors and nurses chests with blatant disregard for decency (and, apparently, common sense), then that jackass resident is about to get his (or her) ass handed to him. This leaves me with a dilemma: Do I continue to stare and satisfy my insatiable curiosity, or do I conform to social norms and constantly feel like I am missing out on something interesting?

In other words, I would have to risk living out my career as the physician embodiment of Larry David, a horrible fate despite the awesome music that would be playing in the background of every moronic thing I did. Or I could live out my fate as any of the Real Housewives of any city: in complete and utter ignorance. Neither option seemed particularly appealing. What about making the conscious effort to only examine the names and professions of the male and poorly chested individuals? Doing that would then force me to consciously judge the attractiveness of females (rather than the subconscious norm that most men achieve), which would be exhausting and in some weird way maybe even more disturbing than the innocent inquiries I’m doing now. Perhaps a hospital-wide mandate that all IDs be displayed via a holder that hangs from the neck? Good luck enforcing that.

In sum, I have absolutely no idea how to resolve this, as I don’t know if I can consciously control my subconscious yearning to discover the names and vocations of passers by. Am I alone with this problem? And does someone else have a better solution?

Any and all ideas would be greatly appreciated.


Anonymous Kendra said...

grow ovaries! i stare at women's chests all day long, with and without nametags, and get away with it. ahhh, the joys of womanhood!

5:30 PM  
Anonymous Stella said...

I have the same problem with men...see we put our badges by the belt of the pants, so when I try to figure out if I have ever talked with men that I walk by, it looks like i am staring at their crotch! :-)

8:20 AM  
Blogger S.S. said...

well, reading the badges don't require much time I guess. Don't unduly prolong your stare!!

btw, genuine problem. I suggest name plates On the Left sleeve instead.


@Stella: LOL, at least you don't have men staring at you on pretext of reading your name plate. Be happy.

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Anonymous BlackComet said...

hmmm, i suppose in my experiences, if it's someone your actually working with or chatting with more than 1 second, just make it blatantly obvious that your looking at the tag and not the boob. if you can even point to your own tag and then peer at theirs.

if it's just a passerby, i guess the only thing you can do it glance quickly. but i dunno at least in my med school, most of the people in the hospitals dress diff depending on roles (housekeeping is usually blue scrubs, docs have the steth, dressshirt/pants, white coat, pharms have the little basket of drugs, etc).

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Blogger Sandhya said...

Solution: We should wear ID badges on our pants back pocket - that way you can stare all you want and we...would never know :)

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Anonymous Medical Educator said...

errr... depends what you are looking at their chest for... is it genuinely to see their name or are you copping a cheeky look at the same time ;-)

unless someone has commented on your inadvertently long stares i would just keep on doing it, after all, everyone has the same conundrum. and if you are being innocent about it then theres no reason not to!

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It's tough. But I reckon look at the boobs.

But that's my take on it. After all, I'm working in Paediatrics, where breasts are little more than a food source for most of my patients. It's far less dangerous...


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its important to remember that these things arent essential elements of yourself....the same way the I isnt usually associated with things like how large your arms and feet are, so behavioral compulsions 9they should be thought of the same way)

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Honestly, I understand it can be awkward but where else should the badge be placed? As long as female nurses or doctors don't wear any pushups I think it's fine :). Feel free to visit my blog I write about similar topics! Get into Medical School!

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ahahaha great blog. i suppose you could just use your peripherals.. but i get your point, haha

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Anonymous Brenne Meirowitz said...

Re: Name Tag placement. Sounds like you haven't taken enough anatomy classes!

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This comment has been removed by the author.

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Blogger downtoearthmedstudent said...

I've always found it funny how some men fascinate over women's chests and can't help but try to catch a cheeky glimpse (or stare) but we never stare at the male crotch area when first meeting someone new. Would be nice if you updated your blog.

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I have an idea!

Firstly, I admit I have not read all the replies here and am unsure whether this has already been suggested, sorry if it has.

Use the asymmetry of the placement of the name tag to your advantage. I.e, you can look at the badge, when it is clearly evident that your gaze is directed at it, and only ONE side of the chest. This is best done when close to the person. From afar, yes, it just looks like you are looking at their general chest area. So maybe try limit your habit to when you are are closer proximity to the person.

I hope I have helped :)

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I guess it's not only the medical faculty are facing this sort of problem. Stewardess, sales personnel and what have you. Maybe in the future the id tag would be invented by a crotch loving maniac instead of a boob lover:)

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haha. I don't wonder about this ID placement on our chest pocket not until now that I've read your blog. Fascinating. :)

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Anonymous Jordan said...

I wouldn't say the problem is where you're looking (most of them realize where the nametag is) nor do I think the nametags really need to be moved at all. Just use your judgement on how much TIME you spend reading the nametag. That's the key, my friend.

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